Tidbits is our way of relaying to you (the parents) some useful information.  Use this information to start a conversation with your teen, or just to keep an eye on the youth culture.  You'll also find some useful ideas that we've collected from other sources.  Enjoy.

KEEPING YOUR KIDS SAFE BY BEING MEDIA-WISE

These days, our kids are being bombarded by messages from a variety of media sources, and those messages are often lies the media portrays as healthy, normal behavior among kids today.  Parents often avoid addressing the issue of media and kids because we don't know what to do.  But we need to roll up our sleeves and get to work helping our kids make right and wise decisions about media.  Here are some tips for handling some of the common forms of media your kids are interacting with.

Taming the Tube

• Know what shows your kids are watching on TV.  As a rule, most programs will either work to reinforce your values or to oppose your values.
• Don't put a TV in your child's bedroom.
• Set limits on TV time.
• Talk with your kids about TV shows.

Internet

• Consider a quality Web filter for children and young teenagers.
• Keep the computer with online access out of your child's room.
• Keep the computer with online access in a "public" part of your home.
• Remind your child not to give out any personal information over the Web without your permission.
• Teach your kids to report inappropriate online interactions to you right away.

Music

When our kids were teenagers living at home, Cathy and I believed that because of the powerful influence of music, we had a God-given responsibility to review and even approve what our children listened to at home.  Our policy: We listen to all CD's brought into the house.

(Based on and updated from an excerpt of The 10 Building Blocks of a Happy Family by Jim Burns, Ph.D.)

Source: www.homeword.com/Articles/ArticleDetail.aspx?iArticleId=75

ACTIVE LISTENING

An important skill for parents to master is "active listening."  When parents listen actively, they send children the message that they're important enough to have the parents' undivided attention.  Many problems can be solved, and even prevented, when parents take the time to use active listening.  When you master active listening, you can shrewdly guide your children to solve problems for themselves.

Here are five steps to master the skill:
1.  Stop what you are doing.
2.  Look at your child.
3.  Give your full attention.
4.  Listen to what is said.
5.  Comment on what you think you heard.

Source: Denis Witmer at http://parentingteens.about.com

 

TEASERS

Percentage of teachers who say they often hear these types of remarks from students:

• Sexist.............................. 40%
• Homophobic................... 33%
• Racist.............................. 12%
• Negative religious............ 3%

Drugs and Slang words dictionary:

Click on the above title to link to an interesting article detailing the slang words kids use in place of the drugs real name.

The MySpace Mountain

MySpace: It’ll strike fear into any parent’s heart. But Jim Burns has provided five realistic ways parents can handle this ubiquitous influence on teenagers.

1. Understand what MySpace is. Nothing will fan the flames of fear faster than a lack of understanding.

2. Understand how “normal” MySpace is to the average teenager. When kids tell you, “Everyone’s doing it,” they’re only slightly exaggerating—MySpace has over 86 million registered users.

3. Understand the dangers of MySpace. Not everyone on MySpace who’s not a teenager is a predator, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t out there. Talk with your teenager about the online decisions he or she makes.

4. Set appropriate boundaries. Creating rules such as “No creating multiple profiles” or “No providing personal information” can go a long way. Also, inform your kids that you’ll be looking at their MySpace page regularly.

5. Follow through with consistent discipline. This one’s appropriate for more than just MySpace, and it's  self-explanatory.

Engaging the Soul of Youth Culture

This is a great book for parents that deals with youth culture, the world your teen is growing up in.  It is written by Walt Mueller a leading authority on youth culture.  Walt dives into movies, music, advertising, and so much more to help parents understand all of the dynamics that can affect their teens.

• Volunteer to serve dinner at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter. Nothing takes the entitlement steam out of a teenager’s sails faster than seeing how blessed they already are.
• Clean out your house and have a big family garage sale—one where you all contribute and work. At the end of the day, count up the money and give every bit of it to a local charity.
• Think of a widow—or widower—in your congregation who may not be as mobile as he or she once was, and offer to clean the entire house one Saturday.

teaching your teen about alcohol
walt mueller

Adolescent alcohol abuse has been a problem for all recent teenage generations. Teenagers’ curious natures combine with a desire to have fun, a desire to escape from life’s pressures, and easy availability in a mix that is always dangerous and sometimes deadly. Sadly, a new trend is fueling teenage alcohol abuse and its related problems. Many parents are actually encouraging their children to drink by providing alcohol to teenagers in their own homes. They assume that since their children are likely to experiment with alcohol anyway, it’s best to give them both the alcohol and a place to drink “safely.”

Our God-given responsibility is not to teach our kids how to abuse alcohol. Instead, our role is to teach our kids a lifestyle of obedience that brings honor and glory to God. Most teenagers are left to get their information about alcohol from unreliable sources. Some learn from their friends. Others learn from the media. Still others say they just picked up what they know. Only about one in three middle school and high school aged students say that their parents talk to them “often” or “a lot” about tobacco, drugs, and alcohol.

Alcohol education should start when we tell our preschool children not to accept candy, gifts, pills, or rides from strangers. As they grow older, we should take the time to educate our children on the different types of alcohol they will encounter and the dangers and effects of each. Don’t overstate the danger by saying that everyone who drinks beer will die or other generalized nonsense. Rather, tell them about the potential short- and long-term harmful effects of alcohol abuse in a truthful and realistic manner.

Another way to teach your children is by seizing the teachable moment as they encounter alcohol use and abuse in the media. Teach them to discern the true and false messages on TV shows. Help them pick apart the ridiculous promises and nature of alcohol ads.

Teach them that it is against the law for minors to buy or drink alcoholic beverages. Teach them that God has given them the responsibility to obey the laws of the government. Take the time to read and study Romans 13:1-3, 6-7 with your kids. And if they get caught, be sure that they are given the wonderful opportunity to learn by suffering the legal consequences of their actions. Don’t work to get any of the legal ramifications “fixed.”

Study together what Scripture has to say about drunkenness in passages such as Proverbs 23:20-21; I Corinthians 5:11; Galatians 5:19-21; Ephesians 5:18; and I Thessalonians 5:5-8.

And finally, walk your talk. A code of biblical moral conduct lived out in the house is the most powerful shaper of your child’s own spiritual values and behaviors.